Friday, August 12, 2011

Double Take: A Buddy Story

I've decided that one way I can get in the habit of posting over here is to repost some of my favorite entries from LiveJournal. Here's one from spring of 2010.

Princess and I were cleaning up after breakfast when Buddy called down from the upstairs bathroom.

Buddy: Mom!!! I pooped!
Me: (a little surprised because he hasn't felt the need to announce this in a while - also, I'm frantically trying to think of what he might have eaten to cause his poop to distress him so) Okay . . .
Buddy: And it was big!
Me: (relaxing a bit, thinking that he was just proud) Oh!
Buddy: It splashed me.
Me: (thinking that he's freaked because of a wet bottom) Well . . . (on my way to say "Just wipe your bottom with some toilet paper")
Buddy: And some water got in my eye.

Just think about that for a second. Princess and I did.

Me: It got in your eye?
Buddy: Yeah! What should I do?!?!?
Me: Um. When you're done then wash your eye out with water, I guess.

By this time Princess and I were silently doing the "creep out" dance. You know the one: where you face involuntarily screws up and you get the shivers and scuff your feet. But we were also trying very hard not to laugh out loud at what we were seeing in our mind.

Here's what we deduced: Buddy does not sit on the toilet seat when he poops. He puts his feet on the seat and then squats. Yes. You read that right. How do I know this? Because several times he's called me into the bathroom to bring him a new roll of toilet paper and when I enter the room I've found him in that position. I thought that he was there just because he was being silly for me at that particular moment. Nope. That's how he poops. Yes, he takes off pants and underwear completely, perches his little tootsies on the seat and squats. It stands to reason, then, that a large plop could make it to his eye. Especially if he was looking down at that particular moment. Which, I'm sure, he was. Sigh.

I have absolutely no idea why he does this. He doesn't either. When I told him he needed to SIT on the seat, he replied that he didn't know how. At that time, and at this time, it's just not worth it to argue or try to teach him otherwise. I'm thinking that because he's got such a teeny little tush, he's afraid of falling through. I can understand that fear. I might address this at some point, but I'm thinking that he'll actually fix this on his own. I can't imagine him still doing this as an eight or nine year old. Or maybe this is something that his father should address. I don't know. All I know is that it makes for a good story!

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