Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Thanksgiving Kick in the Pants

Sometimes you just need to be reminded how good you really have it. This Thanksgiving is all about that, I think.

This morning I woke to Buddy with a stomach bug. Poor little guy spent two hours trying to throw up the nothing that he had in his tummy. It was really sad. At one point he looked up at me and said, "I wish this never happened." Oh, it was so pitiful! But luckily he was done with the yucky stuff by about 9:45 and then just slept the rest of the day.

Hubby offered to stay with him while I went to dinner. I thought that was very sweet considering we traveled from Texas to Detroit to be with his family. I declined. I love his family a lot (I pretty much won the lottery when it comes to in-laws), but it's HIS family. So Buddy and I stayed at my sister-in-law's house and everyone met up at Cousin L's. Buddy and I napped, read and watched TV. It was a sweet time with my little guy.

I do have to confess that I was tempted to pout and I did get tears in my eyes once or twice. I missed getting to hang out with our family. I missed listening to the kids run up and down the stairs and decorate cookies. I missed watching the football games from the kitchen. I missed the table talk and the birthday cake. (Hubby has eight people in his family who have November/December birthdays.) But you know what? Buddy and I had a safe, warm place in which he could recover. And he did recover. It was just a virus and nothing life-threatening. Cousin L sent home a huge plate for me INCLUDING gluten free quinoa stuffing and a baked apple - just for ME! We'll have a couple more chances this trip to see everyone, so this isn't the only opportunity for me to socialize. And I got to watch three episodes of Breaking Bad. In a row!

No, it's not the Thanksgiving that I envisioned when I went to bed last night. But it was a really good day.

(Oh, and UT defeated A&M in the last 2 seconds of their last conference meeting. I'll sleep well tonight!)

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

The Horrors of a Blank Screen

I've been having a really tough time blogging lately. It's not for lack of material - there's plenty going on here to share. It's motivation. When I sit down, I always think that there are other, more productive things I could be doing. I could be doing laundry, dusting or any other cleaning related activity. I could be organizing something. I could be . . . feeding homeless people. Or I could be telling funny/interesting/weird/mundane stories about my life.

Or it could also be that when I sit down and think about what to share about what is going on in my life, I get anxious and start to think too much. (Seriously, I almost had a panic attack going to sleep last night. With no distractions, mind just started going.) It's tough owning a small business in this economy. (Oh. My. Goodness. Did I just write that very cliche and very adult phrase?!? See why I haven't been blogging?) It's the same reason that I don't work out - I can't give my mind an opening to wander. At this point I feel that I need to always have something coming in so that I don't have a chance to think about where we are. I really do not like being negative in my posts so I'm kind of following the advice that Thumper's mom gave him: If you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all.

Lately I've gotten really involved in some television shows that are very dark. This is telling, I think. I've been shunning regular TV shows for so long because I haven't wanted to fill my time with the screen. However, again, I'm finding that I don't want to give myself any mental down time so I'm filling that time with more input. But also, I'm watching shows in which the characters have it SO much worse than I do that it does leave me feeling a bit better. I mean, I'm not trying to survive in a world post-zombie apocalypse. I'm not living in a haunted house. And I'm not trying to fun my cancer treatments by cooking meth. All I'm just trying to do is keep my kids from destroying each other while I demand respect from them during a time when my husband is traveling a lot trying to keep our business healthy.

So . . . what to do. What to do.

I know, I'll get caught up on Breaking Bad.