Heh, heh. I said Number Two.
A couple of years ago I composed a long and soul-searching blog post about who I was. I remember very clearly how pleased I was with the post and then how devastated I was when I lost it forever to the computer from hell.
Since then, I've started writing similar posts but wound up leaving them in frustration. I just have never gotten the same spark I had for that one post. Could it be that I purged what I needed to purge and God decided that I was the only one who needed to read it? Yes. That could be it. But now, five plus years after the failed posting, I think I need to revisit the subject. My kids are older and more independent so I don't have to spend so much energy and focus on them. And so . . . what now?
My second goal for this year is to explore this particular season in my life and decide what I can let go of and what I need to embrace. Frankly, I've spent a lot of motherhood fighting myself and my preconceived notions of what motherhood should be. As I get farther and farther in to this journey, I realize that motherhood is what I make of it. And, at the same time, it can't be an excuse to slack off on being me. It's very easy to write things off by saying, "I could never do that because I have to do all of my mom stuff." Being a mom is a great excuse to stagnate. And then what happens when the kids are out of the house? Find another excuse? Don't want to go down that road.
So there's another goal for 2012 - to find out who "me" is this year. No, I don't mean find out who I am definitively. I'm not sure that anyone can every pinpoint that. I just mean to find out who I am and what I'm supposed to be/work on this particular season of my life.
What about you? Who do you see as "you" right now in your life?