Thursday, February 11, 2016

Day 1 - Fear of Failure

Today I've got a two-fer because I signed up so late yesterday for "40 Things To Give Up For Lent"

Yesterday - Day 1 - was Fear of Failure

So why do I say that I'm "making myself" blog (or at least journal) about each of these aspects I'm challenged to give up?  Because I haven't blogged or journaled consistently for at least three years.  And it's not necessarily fear of failure (but that is some of it), but it's just fear of what will come. 

THIS POST still kind of stands as my norm.  But boiling it all down, I think that my lack of writing is rooted in fear.  Fear of what I will uncover - pain, anger, numbness, anxiety, truth, lies.  Also there is a fear that if I put myself out there in a blog . . . will anyone care?  Will my experience, my words, my point of view about anything resonate with anyone or am I . . . insignificant? 

Artists constantly struggle with this fear.  Will people want to hear/see/experience what I have to share?  Will it be worth the time for someone to invest in my words/music/painting/whatever?  And then there is the fear of trolls.  (Not that I have enough readership of my little blogs to attract trolls!  But . . . what if I did?) 

The verse associated with today's aspect is Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

God is walking with me all the time - not just when I'm doing things that I feel are safe.  Psalm 23:4 confirms that:   
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. "

So I shouldn't be afraid.  But I still am.  But I'm ignoring the fear and walking on ahead.  Soon, I will click on "Publish" and then . . . one step at a time.

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