Monday, February 15, 2016

Days 4 and 5 - Giving Up Impatience and Retirement

Saturday's aspect to give up was impatience.  So I resisted the temptation to fire off a quick post and decided to ruminate on it.  (See what I did there?  Sometimes I crack myself up.) 

God is always working on my patience.  Always.  I have kids.  I have a spouse.  I encounter people.  I need patience!  (For the record, I HATE lessons in patience.  I don't know anyone who does. It means that you are called upon to exercise patience.  It's maddening.  It's painful.  And it's just not fun.) 

I feel that I have made great strides in my education in the field of patience.  Being on this side of the lesson in several areas of my life, I can see how He worked even when I felt that He was being silent and idle.  I see where He was working and guiding me and I can see how I was fighting tooth and nail, not listening and . . . well, generally being a brat.

We own our own business.  We started that business in November of 2006.  Yep, just about a year shy of the Great Recession.  I will spare you the gory details, but it has not been the best ten years for us financially.  My prayer journal is FULL of prayers asking for relief.  But you know what, MY idea of relief is not God's idea.  My idea came with abundance in the checking and savings account.  It came with shopping for pleasure, pedicures and weekly dates nights.  God's idea of "relief" was that we never missed any payments on anything and we always had something to eat, something to wear, transportation and a beautiful house in which to celebrate our wonderful marriage and raise our healthy children.  God's provision was to strip us down to the basics - and continue to provide those basics in abundance - and have us (me!) rejoice in those provisions.   

A couple of years ago I finally started learning this lesson.  I finally started to loosen my white knuckle grip over the financial things I have no control of anyway.  Ten years into this journey, I now have ten years of hindsight.  And in ten years we've had some close calls, but God has been faithful and our business has thrived. 

Yes, we have debt, but we did not take on any debt that we felt we could not pay.  We prayed over any debt that we chose to take and we ran the numbers to make sure that we could fulfill those obligations.  Again, God is faithful and we are now in a position where we have been able to continually make payments toward that debt for a long time now. 

I'm not saying that I have arrived.  I'm not saying that I have completely let go of impatience and, woo hoo, I'm free!  Nope.  It's just that God has been so faithful in the big, huge picture these past ten years that it's MUCH easier to let go (well, at least to loosen my grip a little) now.

Today's aspect - retirement - I don't think we have to worry about that.  First of all, we're YEARS away from even thinking about that.  Secondly, read this post again about owning our own business.  I'm praying that we can save enough to someday retire, but I am certainly not sure about that.  And, thirdly, neither my husband nor I are idlers.  We can't NOT do something.  We'll be meddling about in something until we can no longer meddle in anything, I can assure you of that!

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